My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
