Me too!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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