Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
