You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
