the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
