I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
