I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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