If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
