yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
