I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
