my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
