Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
