Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
