Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
