Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
