she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
