don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
