You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
