In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
