You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
