i don't like sucking hair
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
