we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
