but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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