I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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