You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
