My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
