we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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