There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
