How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
