I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
