Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
