you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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