found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
