Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
