I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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