he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
