I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
