I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
