I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
