# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
