Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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