the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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