Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
