..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
