help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
