finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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