I CAN MOONWALK!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am naked and annoyed.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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