get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
