exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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