Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
